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Where Was I Mommy?

by Kimberley on January 10, 2010 · 1 comment

Where was I Mommy?

That is a question my three-year-old has been asking more and more often lately. He sees pictures of me and my husband on our wedding day and on trips from before he was born and he wonders a loud where he was. Both Hubby and I have a little giggle each time he asks us this; it really is rather cute. This evening, at the dinner table, when we were talking about a place my husband and I both used to work at Oskar asked: Where was I then Mommy? I smiled as I usually do and I told him he was not born yet.

He looked at me quizzically, as he always does when I answer that way, and asked: Was I in your tummy? I said: No, not really, you just did not exist yet. I could tell by his little face that he was trying to process this. Then, Hubby laughed and said: You were just a glimmer in my eye. This seemed to satisfy him for a moment, he thought about it and said: So, I was in Daddy’s eye? We laughed and said: No honey, you just weren’t with us then.

He thought for a moment and then his little face scrunched up, and he began to cry and he said: But I love you Mommy and I always want to be with you! And, my heart melted a little because I understand how he feels. He has only been in my life for three years and yet, somehow, it seems like he has been with me forever. To him, I am his Mommy. I am not Kimberley, the wife, the friend, the co-worker or the acquaintance, I am just Mom, his mom.

I remember a time when I felt like that about my Mom. She was my Mother and that was all that mattered; the woman she was before she had me meant very little, her past was insignificant to me. It was only latter, when I was older, that I had any interest in learning about my mother as a woman, the person she was separate from me and my brother.

Next time my little guys asks me: Where was I Mommy? I will just have to remember, at this point, he does not really care about anything other than the fact that I am his mommy. So, I will have to say: You weren’t with me then but, you were in my heart and I already loved you.

Hopefully, that does not elicit any tears.

I wrote this to silence which is sometimes the sweetest music to a mother’s ears.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Kelly P January 18, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Aww, I loved this Kimberley – it brought tears to my eyes it was so sweet! And I can see your little man saying that…. Just like “I can’t see now Mommy”

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