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Back to work {sigh}

by Our Little Pickle on March 26, 2010 · 2 comments

 

Last weekend I photographed a glowing expectant mother… we had a blast on her property with it’s own private forest. I had her in scraps of material scampering around like a pregnant pixie. She was very patient with me when I asked her to go barefoot and sit in some slightly prickly leaves! I assured her that all would be worth it when she saw the photos 🙂 When I uploaded the photos onto my computer to edit them I gazed at herswollen belly and was suddenly nostalgic. I thought wow, it was a year ago that I was this pregnant. I started to remember the feel of my belly and feeling my tiny daughter inside me; I felt sad. This mom and her baby are looking forward to the next year together and I am looking towards returning to work. Although I currently work one day a week, I am feeling like I am entering panic mode with the realization that I will be returning 3 days a week in May. Yes, it’s only 3 days a week, it could be full time, or above and beyond full time, but I am still having a difficult time of it. Where does the time go and how does it go by so quickly, especially when some days themselves seem to be endless. You know those days I am talking about, when your baby is sick or teething or just had a rough night, those days feel like they go on forever and yet when you add them all up they are simply a flash in the pan. I think it is unfair of mother nature and father time to make the first year a blur. I feel that I can barely remember my daughter as a newborn, or at 3 months. I remember milestones, but I don’t remember that simple day to day stuff, the moments in between the hype, the real flesh of parenthood. Some people say we forget those challenging times and moments so that we will continue to have children, apparently this is supposed to be the way it goes for childbirth too, but I am still waiting to have the pain of that memory become distant, lol! Maybe some of us remember it better than others, I for one feel a little bit ripped off. There have been times where I have wished for a memory recorder; something that records a moment in its entirety- sights, sounds, smells, temperature, feelings- everything so that that I would never forget a moment because they all feel so precious. If I had one of these memory recorder things I think we would have to get a few more external hard drives, ha ha ha.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Miriam April 11, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Such a good argument for stay-at-home momness. Too bad life is so expensive, or maybe we have over complicated it, or both 😉
You are obviously a smitten mom, and smitten moms make a wonderful childhood for their kids whether they are working or not 🙂

Jessica April 11, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Thanks Miriam! I am still struggling with this and feel that I may be leaning towards staying home after all! It is a tough choice.

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