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Eating Crow and BTW

by Kimberley on March 1, 2010 · 4 comments

February flew by. I can honestly say I have no idea where that month went. I have never had four weeks slip by faster and it really scares me. March 1st brought an end to the Olympic games and began the count down to my back to work day or as I have dubbed it my BTW Day.

April 7th is the first day I will be back at work and it will be a big day because, not only will I be leaving both my babies for an entire day for the first time, I will also be starting a whole new job. I can’t really complain because I am very lucky. I only work part-time and the person who will be caring for my two boys is a close family friend who loves them as if they were her own grandchildren. It is an ideal situation.

Yet, I am still nervous to head back to work. I am worried about balancing my family and professional life. I am concerned that heading back to work is going to throw a wrench into the system we have created and cause unwanted stress. I know my three-year-old is going to be fine but I worry how my 11-month-old (who will be a 1YO by then) will handle being away from his mommy for the whole day.

I am trying to think positively; I can recognize that both the boys and myself could benefit from the time apart. Perhaps having those short breaks away from each other will make our time together that much sweeter. I am hoping that will be the case.

I can’t believe how much I have changed over the last few years. When I was pregnant with my first boy, I was sure I was going to return to work full-time. I always knew I wanted to have children with my husband but I never thought I would ever want to be a stay-at-home mother.

I remember someone saying to me, way back when I was pregnant with my 1st, that I would not be able to work full-time once I had the baby. They said I would want to be home with the baby. I remember looking at them like they were crazy and thinking: you don’t know me… I’m not the stay-at-home type. But, here I am 3.5 years later and I can barely leave them at all let alone work full-time.

I have to laugh because it’s me eating crow again… something I have done many times since having kids. Like when I said we would totally go to Europe with our first baby because traveling with babies is easy. Yeah… ate a big crow for that one. There was no trip to Paris that year and likely won’t be for many a year to come. I was picking feathers from my mouth for months for that one.

Yup… I talked smack and I thought I knew it all and I WAS WRONG. I’m a very different person than I was before I had kids. I hope I can go back to work and balance everything and still be happy. I know I am going to enjoy these last 5 weeks and really try to savour them. I am never going to get these moments back and recognizing and honouring that is not something I will ever eat crow over.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelly P March 2, 2010 at 9:11 am

The only vow I have made so far when it comes to my kids (or at the least the one we’ll finally get to meet in a few months) is that I won’t feed them hot dogs for the first year of their life. What’s that? You don’t feed babies solid food like that…? ah, how much easier it will be to stick to my plan then….

In all honesty though I suspect there will be many things I vowed never to do and many I vowed I would do that just don’t turn out how I expected. All we can do is keep in mind our little ones and hope we are doing the best we can for them.

And if Europe waits for a few more years, you’ll just be that much more excited when you get there.

Sox March 2, 2010 at 9:56 am

Good luck on your return to work. If your experience is anything like mine, the first few weeks aren’t great, but it gets much better as you get back into the routine of things. And there are definite pluses to being at work…like a hot cup of tea, whenever you want it.

I hope the transition goes smoothly for you and your family.

Kimberley March 2, 2010 at 10:44 am

That’s funny Kelly. No Hot Dogs i a good idea. I said no Hot Dogs ever and that did not stick at all ;). Mmmm crow again.

Sox – Yes tea anytime… how wonderful!!

Kelly P March 2, 2010 at 12:16 pm

My mum told me she ate crow about hot dogs after she vowed to never ever feed us hot dogs or Kraft dinner. I remember many a night when she’d be throwing us in the car with a hot dog while she rushed us off to Girl Guides.
Thought I’d best keep my goals easy ones for now. 😉

Mmmm hot tea!!

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