Sex, by the Book

by Karen Platt

An amazon.ca search for books on sexual health brings up no fewer than 3,548 results; 231 for children and teens alone. Some of these are great finds. Some, well, not so much. So what’s a parent to do?

If your kids are beginning to ask those challenging questions (or even if they’re not), here’s a list of some of my favourite books for parents and kids. Why not add one or two onto your holiday gift list?

Originally published in 1965, Lennart Nilsson’s A Child is Born is still the rudimentary photographic essay on the miracle of conception and development. The book has been reprinted five times in over 20 countries since its debut; the latest edition was just published in September 2009 in Sweden. Using specially designed equipment, Nilsson has created incredible images, ones that will fascinate and amaze adults and children alike. Nilsson takes us on the journey from sperm meeting egg right through birth, giving parents a wonderful springboard to talk about where babies come from and how they are made. Many of us were lucky enough to have had this book as part of our childhood libraries; do yourself a favour and re-discover it with your children. You can find inexpensive, used (but still beautiful) copies through the internet, pick up the 2004 edition or order the 2009 edition at local bookstores. The perfect gift.

I’ve said it before but the sexual health series for children by Robie Harris and Michael Emberley—It’s Not the Stork (age 4+), It’s So Amazing (age 7+) and It’s Perfectly Normal (age 10+)—remains at the top of my list of entertaining, educational reads. The books are narrated by a very wise bird and a very embarrassed bumblebee and are delightful reads for all ages. These are books you actually can read over and over and not want to tear your hair out. The books cover all the sexual development bases from body parts to puberty to different kinds of families and much more. The illustrations are charming and engaging, the information is precise and accurate as well as fun and accessible. These are kids’ books but don’t be fooled—many adults tell me they learned volumes from them. And had fun doing it.

Boys, Girls and Body Science by Meg Hickling is another good book for the early elementary set. It’s not as fun as Harris and Emberley’s books but Hickling always has good, matter-of-fact information, presented in a gentle, accessible way. Meg fans will love this. And of course, The New Speaking of Sex, is Meg’s classic help-mate for parents struggling with how to talk to their children about many things sexual. Unfortunately, in our media-saturated age, a section on dealing with the internet and other media is sorely lacking. But for the basics, you can’t go wrong buying this book for your stammering spouse.

And speaking of spouses... in between diaper changes, career management, homework, housework and hockey, it pays to remember healthy sexuality is not just for children. It’s amazing how quickly the sexual fires can go out for busy, exhausted parents. And while good sexual relationships require more than books (like some dedicated “couple time”), weary, sexually unfulfilled parents may find inspiration and reassurance in two of my favourite books for grown-ups by sex educator and therapist David Schnarch. Among the millions of “how-to’s” out there that I wouldn’t recommend, Schnarch has given us two grown-up, erotic, matter-of-fact, compassionate books about the complexities and hope that lie within our most intimate relationships. Passionate Marriage (recently re-released) and Resurrecting Sex are volumes worth having on any bookshelf—whether your sex life is the stuff of fantasy or has become a vague, if fond, memory.

Karen Platt is a writer and sexual health educator.