Anxious? Stop Worrying:
Strategies to Manage Anxiety
by Joel Tourigny


I can feel it churning deep in my stomach, reaching up through my spine and digging its claws into my shoulders. Ahhh, anxiety, that wonderful gift passed down from our ancestors.  Wonderful gift? Well, depends how you look at it I guess. Everyone has, at times, been more anxious than they would like. Similarly, most of us experience mild to moderate anxiety on a daily basis. We are anxious about getting to school or work on time, about the homework or the report we are presenting that day, and about our relationships with our new teachers or bosses. The point? Anxiety is normal. Funny thing, because we are bombarded by messages and advertisements suggesting that we should be happy, contented, and anxiety-free all the time, and if we are not, then we should take a pill, engage in therapy, or both.

So let’s go way back to figure this out. I mean waaaaaaay back. No, it’s not about your childhood; a little further back please. That’s right, caveman era. Homo sapiens are evolving.  They’ve got these ridiculously large brains but they don’t get much of a chance to use them because they’re lucky if they can live to be 20.  They need fear— enough burning fear to keep those big ol’ brains working on solutions to the problem of being the slowest, weakest, tastiest morsels of prey on the planet. Fortunately they solved that problem, leaving us, their descendants, with a mixed blessing. The bad news is that we too have this burning fear. The good news is that it motivates us to solve whatever problems lie before us, even problems that are not the least bit life threatening. Research has shown that our performance on a variety of tasks is optimal when our anxiety is moderate.  Too much anxiety and we tend to make mistakes, too little and we just go watch TV. So not only is anxiety normal, it is very useful.

Some of us really do have more anxiety than others. Being different from one another is a key mechanism of evolution, and it makes us more effective as a group. As a society, we need a few good men and women to be more attuned to danger and to sound the alarm for the rest of us. They are our most talented and creative worriers who use their large brains to forecast disaster, and if we listen carefully, they may just save us from extinction, again. But it’s a tough job, with some occupational hazards.  Those among us who worry so well can make themselves sick with it at times. Here is a set of proven strategies to help talented worriers harness their creative power.

First, we can remind ourselves and our resident worriers that anxiety is both normal and useful. Talk about it, identify it when you see it, ask how it helps and how it hurts.  Second, take care of the basics. Make sure that regular routines are in place ensuring good nutrition, good sleep habits and regular exercise.  Exercise is key. Remember that anxiety primes the body for the “fight or flight” we needed in our caveman days. Exercising is one of the best ways to release that stored tension.

Third, engage that big powerful brain in some serious planning. Creating a detailed weekly schedule with adequate time for sleep, eating, homework, chores, exercise, fun and relaxing can release a worrier from the burden of mentally reviewing that schedule on a regular basis. It’s not glamorous, but it is effective. It can also be an important step in combating procrastination.  Many teens are already excellent procrastinators and can rid themselves of this anxiety-amplifying habit by breaking down a task into manageable chunks, scheduling time to complete each chunk, and rewarding themselves for each chunk of work completed.

Scheduling time to worry can also be useful!  Setting aside 15 or 20 minutes a day to generate and verbalize or write (you can always tear it up) all one’s worries can make it possible to leave them behind for the rest of the day. Don’t schedule worry time right before bed.  Fourth, relax. Try getting some books or tapes from the library on relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation or the use of imagery. Harnessing the imagination is my favourite. People with high levels of anxiety also have wonderful, creative imaginations.
Finally, facing one’s fears is usually helpful as well. Anxiety often sets off a cycle of avoidance that can generalize to more and more situations until a person’s avoidance is limiting their daily activities. Breaking patterns like these can be difficult, and often a therapist with experience in this area can be helpful. If you want to try it without professional help it is critical that the child or youth be willing and that parents find a middle ground between over-protection and over-encouragement. With your child’s help, list the situations they avoid from most to least anxiety-provoking. You may need to get creative to find a good range of situations.  Encourage your child to pick something from the least anxiety-provoking end of the scale.  Provide gentle encouragement to face the fear when the child is ready, give ample praise, and encourage your child to stay in the anxietyprovoking situation until their anxiety level comes down significantly (or for a maximum of 20 minutes).

Interestingly, anxiety often runs in families.  As with many other personality traits, an anxious temperament can be passed through the genes. It can also spread like a bad flu when one or more members of the family are not coping with their anxiety in a healthy way. All the strategies above apply equally well to parents, children and teens. Parents, look carefully at your own habits.

Anxiety is normal, and it is often useful. It can also be debilitating when it is out of control.  Many parents ask, “When is it too much?” A good rule for any mental health issue is to look at how it interferes in a person’s life. Is your child’s anxiety preventing him from doing the things most kids his age do? Is it keeping her from school, from completing her homework, from socializing, or preventing her from enjoying her successes and daily pleasures? If it is, and if the above strategies are not adequate to bring significant relief, it may be worthwhile to consult a mental health professional.  Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health problem; it is estimated that about seven per cent of children in BC are coping with one right now. Many mental health practitioners have become well versed in effective and efficient approaches to this problem so if you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist, ask them about their competence in the area of anxiety.

Many parents also ask about whether medication is useful and safe. After Health Canada’s advisory last year regarding the use of some antidepressant medications in people under the age of 18, parents and doctors have become increasingly cautious. It is important to maintain a balanced perspective on this, as in all things. I believe that as a society we rely too heavily on pills to solve our problems. I also believe that many of us will encounter a time in our life when the judicious use of a pill will help us to overcome significant difficulties.  I have certainly seen examples of both in my practice with children and youth. If a serious effort at therapy has not resulted in significant gains, or if your mental health professional feels that the level of anxiety is too extreme to allow therapy to occur, it is worth consulting a psychiatrist on this topic.

Dr. Joel Tourigny is a registered psychologist in Victoria. He conducts assessments and therapy with children of all ages and their families. He has specialized training in working with anxiety.