As a primary parent, we are programmed to feel like we must do it all.
We have to work (and love what we do), keep a clean house (and not complain), make healthy meals (that are met with, “I don’t want that!”), play with our kids (with no distractions), organize and keep track (of all of the things, for everyone), have close friends (in our “spare” time) and practice self-care (are you kidding?!).
How do we do it all? At the expense of our mental, physical and emotional well-being.
In 2026, many parents are realizing this way of thinking has gone on too long. It is impossible to do all these things simultaneously and trying to do so is putting our health in jeopardy. The irony here is that we are doing all of this to be “better parents,” but it is actually detrimental to our children.
We are starting to understand what registered clinical counsellor Darcy Harbour shares in her story “The Perfectionism Trap”: Escaping perfectionism isn’t about trying harder; it’s about the adoption of Good Enough Parenting.
As a recovering perfectionist, this is a concept that took me a long time to grasp. My kids are 11 and eight and I am only now coming to the realization that it benefits them way more to have a real-life human mom who makes mistakes than it does for them to have a perfect robot who sends them to school with a three-course lunch and a smile on her face.
I don’t expect them to be perfect and by (trying to) model perfectionism, I am showing them that they should be. This sets them up for anxiety, disappointment and failure—the opposite of what I want for my kids.
They need to see that life is hard, messy and painful. They must learn how to get through it by watching my example. I need to apologize to them when I yell. I need to admit that I make mistakes. They need to see me stop and take deep breaths when I get frustrated. They need to witness my tears when something sad or awful happens.
They will feel stress, they will mess up, they will get mad, they will cry. How can they know how to deal with these everyday instances if I don’t model appropriate reactions for them?
This mindset shift has helped me more than anything else I have learned during my parenting journey. Letting go of the concept of being a “perfect parent” and realizing I am enough has helped me be a better mom, wife, friend and person (flaws and all).
– Stacie Gaetz
