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It Seemed Like a Good Idea

by Kimberley on March 9, 2010 · 8 comments

We all like to hark back to our pre-parenthood days; to sit and think of all the things we used to be able to do and the pursuits we at one time enjoyed. It is this harkening that often finds me on my laptop – almost always when I should be doing other, much more productive things – cruising through travel sites planning imaginary vacations that will never come to pass.

It’s a little indulgence of mine that I am not entirely ready to give up. You see, before we had children, my husband and I loved to travel. Each year I relished the process of painstakingly reading guidebooks, comparing prices on travel sites and planning, down to the most ridiculous detail, a trip to somewhere new.

It was a hobby of mine and before I realized the realities of parenthood, I thought we would be able to continue such trips with children but – again eating crow as I said in my last blog post – we quickly learned that was not the case and have therefore, not ventured any farther than Seattle and the Winter Carnival in Quebec City since having both our boys.

As it has been a year since our trip to Quebec, it was not surprising that a few weeks ago I was online checking out travel sales to various destinations. I am fearful of taking any long flights with the kids so I mentioned San Fransisco to my Husband and right away he seemed very interested. However, a moment later he came out with something that surprised me; he thought we should go to San Fransisco but that we should go alone… without the boys.

I gawked at him, the man was serious. He actually wanted me to take a trip leaving my 11-month-old and 3 -year-old at home. At first I thought he was crazy but the more he spoke about it the more I saw his point. It has been over 3 years since we have had any alone time together and for us to continue to be good parents, it is important for us to nurture our own relationship as well as the one we have with our boys.

So, he convinced me; though, I did refuse to fly anywhere away from my babies so instead of San Fran we compromised on 4 days and 3 nights in Seattle. Even with my initial trepidation I have been looking forward to the trip. Being able to go shopping and eat at nice restaurants is a very enticing idea that is hard for this girl to resist.

In preparation for the impending trip which is two weeks away now, I got out my breast pump so I could begin pumping milk for my 11-Month-Old. He is only nursing in the morning and at night and considering my previous pumping abilities, I knew I would not have much pumping to do.

I could not have been more wrong. I cannot tell you how frustrated I have been; for the last four days I have pumped constantly to no avail. All my efforts have garnered me a measly 4.5 ounces which in breast feeding terms ain’t much.

My first instinct was to say we would have to cancel the trip because there was no way I was going to ween my baby for a little getaway but, upon seeing my husband’s face which indicated that cancellation may lead to divorce, I tried to squash my initial paranoia and think of a solution.

And that is why for the last few days I have felt like a dairy cow, hooking myself up to my pump several times a day in an attempt to increase my supply so I can go on my trip and still leave my little guy with breast milk. I am really hoping it all works out. This is my first trip away from my boys and I desperately want it to go smoothly. Could I be about to Eat Crow again? It seemed like such good idea at the time but now, I am not so sure if we should be taking this trip. I’m having massive Mommy guilt. Perhaps copious amounts of shopping, wine and good food will wash that all away?

Do any of you have stories about leaving your babies for the first time?

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelly P March 10, 2010 at 9:53 am

You guys deserve this trip and it’s only 3 nights. You, Kevin and both of your boys will be fine. It’s time for you guys to have a break. You both work hard at being really good parents, so Kevin’s right: childless trip time is needed.

Stop feeling guilty and just enjoy it!! And yes, have lots of wine and tasty food. I have no doubt you deserve it after your recent attempts with the breast pump.

(besides, how many people will be there to dote on the boys? They’ll have a blast, and then be super happy to see you when you get home)

Kimberley March 10, 2010 at 9:55 am

I hope we have a great time. We better for all this damn pumping ;).

Sox March 10, 2010 at 10:06 am

I had a similar issue when I left my son for the first time when he was nine months old. Granted it was only for one night, but he was still nursing three to four times during the day and once during the night, so I wanted to leave my husband well-equipped.

I couldn’t pump much at all. Turns out he slept through the night, and only drank one of the bottles I left. It’s almost like he sensed I wasn’t around and therefore didn’t need to drink as much milk.

When I left my daughter for the first time, I ended up feeding her for a week before I left on one side and pumping on the other. Seemed to work a bit better.

As for the Mummy guilt…hogwash! You are more than entitled to this trip away with your hubby. Have FUN!

Kimberley March 10, 2010 at 11:46 am

Sox – You are prob right. I think the stressing about milk is more for my sake than his.

karen March 10, 2010 at 4:03 pm

I left my first baby when she was 14 mos old for 10 to fly to Costa Rica with my dh, and left my first two at around 10 mos and 3 years to go to Montreal for 4 days with a girlfriend. I thought I would miss them sooo much, and I did miss them, but didn’t pine away and was still able to enjoy myself guilt free. I think you and your hubby are doing a great thing and hope you have a blast.

As for the pumping – I know I get much more milk when I pump one breast while baby is at the other. It really helps get the letdown going. Best of luck.

Jessica Bender March 10, 2010 at 10:05 pm

The first night I had away from my baby it was because I was in the hospital with a burst appendix. She went through nearly all of the stored breastmilk in 1.5 days and I was in there for 3. I still pumped while I was in there to keep my milk supply up but I dumped the milk as I was on very high dosage antibiotics and pain killers- not to mention all of the anesthetic from surgery. My cousin told me to mix the breastmilk with formula for a half and half. I felt badly about this at first, but then realized what could I do? In the end my daughter was fine and I now know that in a pinch she is okay with a half and half bottle. I said that she would never have formula and it looks like I myself have eaten crow on that one!

Kimberley March 10, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Good advice about the pumping on one side while they nurse on the other. I am going to try that tomorrow morning.

I thought about getting formula but I would not even know where to begin. I have never even looked at formula before and I worry he may hate it. Hopefully the pumping will work out and I won’t even have to try formula. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for sharing stories everyone!!

Jen March 12, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Make sure to bring your pump with you – with all of the pumping your are doing now to boost your supply, you are going to need to pump quite often while you are away to avoid being in some serious pain! And don’t forget to plan your pumping time in to your itinerary.

Have a great time, and DO NOT feel guilty – your kids will be FINE.

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