My Second Mother’s Day

by Our Little Pickle on May 1, 2010 · 5 comments

Mother’s day is nearly a week away. My daughter was born on Mother’s Day last year. My daughter’s first birthday is nearly a week away- how did that happen? I have been going through this exact thought process at least  4 times a day for the past couple days which has led me to realize that I have mixed feelings about this upcoming first birthday. I have been keeping myself preoccupied planning an epic Mad Hatter Tea Party. And when I say epic, I mean epic… afterall the more details there are for this party, the more distraction it has to offer right?  But, there comes that nagging voice again, telling me resistance is futile. So, when it really comes down to it, if I am really honest with myself (a rare occurance, lol),  there is no distration large enough to distract myself from the fact that my baby girl is going to be an official toddler. I can try to push it aside and I can try to ignore it, but it is still going to happen.

Yes I should be happy that she is a happy, healthy toddler. I should be happy that she sleeps through the night, that she only nurses 4 times a day and that she has two decent naps each day as well. I should be proud that she has reached some developmental milestones ahead of schedule (we all like to act that this doesn’t matter and it’s no big deal but let’s be honest, it feels good when your baby does something before the “experts” say she is supposed to, he he). I should be celebrating all of her growth and accomplishments. Try to focus on the positives, that’s what I am telling myself. But it doesn’t matter, I still miss that tiny baby in my arms.

I can still feel the 7 pound warm squishy heat of her up against my chest (sigh). I can still feel her goose down hair tickling my cheek and I can still smell that uterine twisting new baby smell. I can still hear those first breathy coos and I can still see her first gummy social smile. I remember sunggling her to sleep in my arms and staring at her wondering how I got so lucky to have such a wonderful baby. It is all so dreamy in my head, I forget all about the sleep training and the teething. I think this is what prompts some moms to feel like they need to have another. Not me, I won’t be tricked- nice try mother nature. I mean unless you are Michelle Duggar is has to stop eventually. Which means that you need to learn to accept that the passage of time is a reality. You need to learn to appreciate what you have in the moment and you need to make sure that you hold on to those lovely memories. That’s how you do it, right? Yes, that’s right, that’s what I need to do. Appreciating: check. Remembering: check… Accepting: partial check, okay like 1/8 of a check… I’ll get there.

Everly at 1 hour old.

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New post on the Kids in Victoria Blog… | Little Pickle
May 2, 2010 at 3:44 pm

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Eleanor May 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm

There’s nothing in life like a tiny newborn and as much as it’s the cliche everyone says it is, it does go by so fast. I know a lot of mums who feel the way that you do. I am the flipside myself, I like it when mine got robust enough for me to not worry about breaking them all the time!!! Thanks for sharing and enjoy the party!

Nathalie St-Pierre Roths May 2, 2010 at 9:12 pm

What a special gift you had last year to have your daughter born on Mother’s Day! That is probably the most beautiful gift you could possibly get that day.

~Monica May 6, 2010 at 9:17 pm

The party you have planned sounds utterly fabulous! PLEASE please pretty please, post some photos when the time comes – I’ve always wanted to do a Mad Hatter Tea Party theme (kinda thinking for myself though, so we can get really crazy LOL!)

Mischa Simpson May 8, 2010 at 3:43 pm

This year is my 2nd mothers day too. I am so proud of what my son has become. I had PostPartum depression at the start of his life and I missed out on those first months. Now I cherish every moment with him trying to make myself a mother to be proud of.

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