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So I googled 'mom' and 'burn-out' . . .

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So I googled 'mom' and 'burn-out' . . .

Postby WCM on Thu Jan 27, 2005 2:42 pm

. . .and here's one article I found. Kinda' up-ends the whole 'be the CEO of your family' thing, which I'm happy for. And reminds me that fly lady can really mess you up. :)

although the title here is pretty lame. really, I just liked the intro section.



Avoid Burnout :
How to get more energy
Say Bye-Bye to Burnout:
Special Tips for Moms
by Susie Michelle Cortright
author, More Energy for Moms



When was the last time you were "in the zone"?

When was the last time you experienced that hypnotic feeling of being so utterly concentrated that you lost track of the rest of the world?

When was the last time you were completely task-oriented , enveloped in a self-induced trance, hypnotized by the joy of just doing something - of being entirely focused on a single task?

It takes a great deal of discipline, but it is possible to cultivate this awareness - this attention - and to elevate the ordinary to the extraordinary . This mindfulness is meditation in itself.

When you are able to lavish this kind of singular attention on your kids, you honor them with the greatest gift in the world. And you unleash enormous focus, creativity, and energy for yourself.

Single-task orientation

We develop this present moment awareness, in part, by ending the multi-tasking that pervades a typical mom's day.

When we live a life that has us cleaning the fridge while talking on the phone while baking cookies while toting a toddler, days, weeks, and our children's birthdays slip by.

Ask yourself: Are you multi-tasking yourself into more stress? When you try to do too much at once, you raise your stress level, which diminishes your energy and puts you on the fast track to burnout.

Only mindless tasks should be multi-tasked, and there aren't a lot of mindless tasks when kids are present. Decide which tasks (and people) deserve your full attention. Then give it.

As you do so, work on full-sensory awareness . What does your child's hair smell like? How does she look at you? How does her hand feel in yours? What will you remember about this moment for years to come?

Think about how much better it is to slow down , to get lost in the moment, to appreciate every one of our God-given, miraculous moments by creating an environment of serenity, peace, and pure productivity. A place where there is no frantic, frenzied rushing but only a singular focus that guides us to the next task and the next, throughout the day.

Your life is made up of ordinary moments, and it's foolish to rush them in an attempt to find a bigger, better, more dramatic moment.

Joy exists in the mundane tasks, and learning to immerse yourself in them brings a quiet, powerful form of energy.

You will learn, gradually, how to savor this "everydayness." Begin now.

Whenever you feel your attention start to shift away from the present, gently remind yourself to return. Focus on each of your senses in turn. At this very moment, what do you see, smell, hear, feel, taste?

Start small. Begin practicing mindfulness with a simple routine you do every day, such as brushing your teeth or making your bed. As you go through the routine, focus on what your body is feeling at each moment. Once those simple tasks can hold your full awareness, shift that awareness to the other tasks in your life.

When you start to feel as though your mind is slipping away from the present, bring yourself back by asking yourself "what am I doing?" Once again, focus on the physical sensations the activity produces.

It takes a great deal of discipline (and many, many reminders) to cultivate this level of awareness and attention, but you'll feel more creative, focused, and alive if you can master it.

Begin today.
For a minute there, I was myself.
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Postby Melanie B on Thu Jan 27, 2005 6:07 pm

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Postby JenB on Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:49 pm

Thanks for that article, Caelen. It's reminded me to just focus on each moment. I have the tendency to be thinking in the future all the time, such as what i will do when I'm done what I'm doing now. Or, I can't wait until the next stage in my child's life. I just need to relax and enjoy the here and now, and you have reminded me of that need. Thanks.

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Postby Sue on Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:56 pm

Thanks for posting Caelen. That article reflects a chapter in the book "Easy to Love Difficult to Discipline" that I am reading at present. The author writes about finding the serenity in the present moment and appreciating and embracing it, whatever that may be, even being thankful for the teaching moments that come in a child not listening or 'behaving'...

It is so terribly hard to stop and focus with a child on a task when there are 10,000 other things pulling at our minds and actions, isn't it? I find, for example, that when I get my dd started on a puzzle or activity, I run into the other room to switch over the laundry, make a phonecall, tidy something that needs doing. I know exactly how much more she enjoys an activity when I am right there, tracking what she is doing, and recognizing her efforts and yet it is so hard to not think of everything else that needs to be done. And, often, she realizes I am gone and drops her own concentration, to chase after me causing me frustration and wondering why she isn't sticking to an activity :wink:

Thanks for the reminder to be present and intentional in whatever we do at any given moment - that was an interesting read and hit home with me, for sure.
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Postby Melanie B on Thu Jan 27, 2005 9:53 pm

Sounds like a great book Sue, Author?
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Postby Sue on Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:12 pm

Melanie,

Becky Bailey is the author - I highly recommend it and I am only on the 3rd chapter or so...

Started a thread in Cafe KIV about it too this past week.

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Postby HeatherCarley on Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:39 pm

I love this! I'm going to share it with all the self-imposed "Supermoms" in my life.








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Postby WCM on Fri Jan 28, 2005 1:08 am

Melanie, yes I think I'm burning out. but of course, still doing everything I need to, as we are not wealthy, or I'd book a nervous breakdown pronto! And have you been listening to my thoughts? :) I've been tossing around the idea of starting a zine for 4 years now, since I became a mother. and I've decided to give it a go, as part of my new goal of me time. I found a grat worksheet online (in that same google) that asks good questions about what woud help us get me time, and how to use it. And my first Need was for solitude, for time alone in my house. my second need was sleep. my third was a creative outlet just for me. not sewing clothes or costumes for the kids, or planning parties. just something for me. So I'm hoping to get it together and churn something readable out in the next few months. keep an eye out!and thanks for your humble opinion. It is always appreciated.
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Postby Solon's Mommy on Fri Jan 28, 2005 8:27 am

Thanks for the reminder.. I try to be "in the moment" and single-task (that ones not so hard as I am not that great of a multi-tasker just a multi thinker). It so helps with anger, stress and my high blood pressure.
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Postby Melanie B on Fri Jan 28, 2005 11:45 am

Caelen, how exciting............a new life .........so to speak!
We'll look out for it! and tell people we knew you back when.

Burn out isn't a nice feeling whatever form it comes in. You are lucky that you recognise it and that you can plan escape time for you. How did the decluttering of mind and environment go? I am seriously trying to do this, I have a basement full of projects I have not nor will ever finish let alone a main floor full of people "under construction" including myself.

Off to be one with the moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Postby WCM on Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:43 pm

I've gotten no projects done, hece the added feeling of 'this life is too cramped, nothing ever get's finished'. ideally, I can spend some free time down the line doing these things, but for now, it just isn't happening. I did get through bathroom/linen/toy/clothing cupboards, and that felt good. now on to me me me!!!!!
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