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How to potty train for POOP?

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How to potty train for POOP?

Postby Sue on Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:42 am

Sigh. DS is now 4 and a few months. We finally have pee down, but ONLY at home, or trusted places and ONLY if he is sitting on his potty seat from home. Poop is a whole different story. Up til now, we worked on pee, and encouraged him to ask for a diaper to poop in since it is so much simpler to change than in his undies. But now, we are pushing to train him for poop as well. SO much harder since they can only hold pee for so long, poop on the other hand.... longer. And with the pressure, he is now reluctant to ask for that diaper knowing that we will hassle him, make him sit, etc. A friend said that it was a good 6 months from having pee totally in the bag before her son pooped on the potty. We don't even have the pee totally down yet. HE IS FOUR AND A BIT YEARS OLD. Going into his second year at preschool. All of his cousins are trained, even the little ones. Sigh.

How to go about it? Right now, we are doing the sitting and reading and reading and reading. We could be there hours and he would still be holding it. It has been 2.5 days now with no poop, and he has to go, we know it. A friend suggested having him poop in a diaper but sitting on the potty seat, he won't even do that.

I get that it is a big step, that it is a control thing, that it is hard to transition. We have shamed, bribed, cajoled, threatened :oops: :? Argh.

Encouragement? Steps to follow? Every child is so different. I keep trying to reframe it, say it in different ways, hoping against hope that something will click and he will say "oh alright then". He is bright, but this is such a developmental stage, no? It seems so weird to have this kiddo so smart and verbal and then be laying him down in parking lots and on changing pads to CHANGE HIS DIAPER.

Do we wait? Force it? Only way I can see forcing it is to refuse to put bottoms on him and just wait it out committing to a whole day at home if needed.

But again, poop is so much different - holding his poop can do him damage, forcing this issue can do him damage, no?

Thanks for reading - frustrated this am :(
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby Sunnygirl on Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:12 pm

Something that might help which I discovered when K went through a holding stage after a fissure - Benefibre. We get the big container at Costco. It's just ground chicory root and it helps keeps their "product" soft so it makes it harder for them to hold in. Dissolves completely in any warmish drink - can't taste it or feel it - even my texture fussy G can't tell if it's in.

If he doesn't go after another day then you may want to try Lactulose to "force" the issue as if it gets too hard it can cause even more problems.

I've known other boys not poo trained at 4 so don't let it stress you too much.
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby babbell on Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:57 pm

It's almost midnight so can't say much except You and your son are not alone! I feel like our guy is never going to p.o.t.p :cry: ...and I need sleep ;-)
uh oh...how much can this belly expand? =o)
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby ILoveYouZTANDK on Sun Sep 11, 2011 10:28 pm

I don't have a ton of advice. But did have something to say!

Our son is turning 4 at the beginning of November, and I started potty training him this time last year. This evening, he started to poop in his underwear 3 TIMES, 3 pairs of underwear worn for moments, to be thrown in the laundry until he finally pooped on the toilet. We've gone back and forth through this year since we started potty training. Starting out having pee down pact, then pooping down pact.. Then suddenly pee accidents, then poop accidents... Then he's re-trained again... Then he's suddenly pooping himself again. Then re-trained for a month no issues then SHABAM! Pooping his pants again and does for the next 6 months or more. And for a couple weeks within that time frame he even started wetting his pants, A LOT! What in the world right!

I can delightfully say he's been pee accident free for around 3 months now. And has been pooping on the potty the last 2 weeks, just 2 weeks. Like you we did the diaper thing, I could not understand being in the midst of changing his little brother's poopy diaper, then having him lay down to change his poopy diaper. We just couldn't do it anymore! So we started trying to bribe, telling him he could go to the store and get something if he did.. It didn't truly work. One day we noticed he was trying to poop (you really learn their cues through these situations) and told him it was time to sit on the toilet. It took hours! So many tears, voices were raised, plenty plenty plenty of protest from him. But finally he did it! He was SOOO proud and we made a HUGE deal about it!! He couldn't believe how impressed we were. So now every time it's a huge deal because that makes him feel big.

I remember at times telling myself "We just need him to go once! Just once!" because when I was trying to start potty training at all I knew I just needed him to go pee once and make a huge deal, and I was right. He loved to show off how he would use the toilet.

But I really think the best idea would be to eliminate diapers. A mom on KIV here suggested pantie liners to make for easier clean up. Perhaps he needs to poop his pants a few times? There were times I never thought my son would be out of diapers. But alas, he is out of diapers 24/7 for just over a week now! We decided after the pooping was becoming under control that maybe it was time to try night time training. We figured out very quickly that our son had been being clever in an ever so lazy way. He knew he could use the diaper, but didn't need it haha. Perhaps your son is doing the same?

Another suggestion would be to have him checked out! We're really starting to notice our son having issues. The way he poops in his underwear several times before he actually poops. He cries and complains it's too hard pretty much every time. He's now on fiber daily and a very small dose of a laxative daily. But we are going to get him thoroughly checked to be sure there is nothing going on in his bowels.

I wish you all the luck in the world! I never thought my son would be at this point. So be strong, it's a super frustrating time but he won't get his first job wearing diapers. :-D
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby Kagy on Mon Sep 12, 2011 2:38 am

What are his pooping behaviors? Usually most kids have a "tell", something that they say or do that you know they're about to go. For DS, he would run and hide behind something. The sofa, a chair, under the table, etc. and would get upset if we tried to get him to come out to go on the potty. Finally realized that he was embarrased to go "out in the open" sorta speak. We bought him what we called a "poop screen" (just one of those tri-fold poster board school project thingys). He'd go on the potty hiding behind his screen. It's kinda weird until you realize alot of people need to have a certain "environment" to go. Some people need to bring in reading material, others can only go at certain times of the day after a coffee, etc. Kids aren't that much different. Sometimes they're just too young to know what their pattern is.

Don't know if the same would apply to your little guy. But see if you can find out what he does right before he goes in his diaper and see if you can replicate that somehow. Maybe it will help.
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby nolan's mom on Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:54 pm

So if he knows he has to go poop and asks for a diaper to complete, then he obviously has the knowledge and the awareness that he needs to actually potty train. I would suggest that you stop making it a power struggle and say to him, you can poo on the toilet or in your underware. And then let him choose. Give him that power. Also let him know that if he chooses to poo on the potty, you will help him wipe, etc. If he chooses the underware then he will be in charge of "cleaning up his mess". I would actually wallk him through it the first time and then let him do everything himself. Don't make it a big deal because he will most likely poop in his underware, don't get mad, don't bribe, just the facts, no emotion around it.
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby rosamond on Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:01 pm

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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby Colesmum on Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:03 pm

We're going through this with our youngest right now. PP made me laugh, I made my DS take his own poopy diaper to the garbage, and when he lifted the lid he started gagging, lol. Through the giggles, I explained that the reason the garbage was sooo stinky was because of HIS poopy diapers, lol. Message recieved, we've had great success since then, lol.
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Re: How to potty train for POOP?

Postby rosamond on Mon Nov 28, 2011 6:35 pm

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