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Where to begin?!

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Where to begin?!

Postby NLMD on Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:46 pm

I have come to realize that DS who is nearly 3 and a half may have some behavioural problems. I have a Dr appt coming up so I can sit down and talk this through with our GP but in the mean time I thought KIV might have some thoughts or suggestions. My DS is very different compaired to other boys and girls his age. Yes I know I shouldn't be compairing since every child is different but I just can't help but feel some things stand out to be.
Here are a few of those things-
He has MAJOR problems with change. It can be as little as moving a picture frame on my shelf to when we purchased a new vehicle and he refused to go in it. I can move his dresser in his bedroom and you would think I am killing him he screams so loud and has a massive melt down. He has been like this since he was 2.
Sleeping.. He hasn't napped since he was about 20 months old. He has never been a good sleeper but after a busy day where he is go go go he will wake up a good 5 times in the middle of the night. Now we are talking after he has been out running around up and down trails, playing, and other such things and he won't nap all day and yet he STILL has a terrible sleep. On a good night he will only wake up once.
He HATES holidays and birthdays. It takes A LOT of convincing to get him to open presents. He just dosen't want to. I can tell him it's a new toy and he will say "I don't want a new toy". For Christmas we went to a family members house, he has been there before but not many times. It took myself, DH and my Gramma well over an hour to get him into the house. NOTHING we can say or do makes it easier. We can punish him we can say we will leave we can offer a treat and nothing will do he just wants out. Same with his friends birthday parties.
He can smell and hear EVERY little smell or noise before anyone else can. I never thought much of it but this has been going on for over a year.. Maybe just a good sense of smell and good hearing? I don't know.
He asks a million questions about everything. Not just your typical "Why?" stage (We actually just hit that stage last week)
He can tell me exactly who gave him a toy MONTHS later and everything he did on that day when we got the toy. Such as "I got a sucker at Papas work and we put baby sister in the carrier and walked to wal-mart. My tummy got upset from my sucker. We walked back to Papas work"

Ontop of all this he is a VERY angry child. The anger and attitue that comes out of such a small boy is beyond me. If looks could kill I would no longer be here.

My question for you is.. Is this normal kid behaviour like I am being told by EVERYONE or is there something else here? I am so lost and just want to cry. :(
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby Fierce on Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:09 pm

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm no expert but a lot of what you describe sounds like autism to me. The extreme resistance to change and the memory for every last detail. My nephew was like that as a child, with other behaviors as well, and he has autism. Maybe do some online research and see if the autism symptoms sound like your son? I'm so sorry, it must be really stressful for you. I hope it all works put for your family.
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby tracy on Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:04 am

Would you copy and past this entire post in the special families thread - just think you will get SO much support, and input there - so many of us have walked this walk.....I would ask your GP for a refferal to QA, hugs from a mom who has been there, done that, doing it, post in special families, you will see there are allot of us.
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby workinmom77 on Fri Feb 24, 2012 10:17 am

A referral to a ped sounds like a good idea -- a play therapist also sounds like a good idea.

In the meantime, I highly, highly, highly recommend the book "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk".

The basic premise of the book is that when we truly listen to our kids and validate their feelings, their behaviours change -- and it gives lots and lots of tools for parents to use.

I was totally skeptical when I started out earlier this month, but the change in my 5-y-o is astounding.

It works for typical and non-typical children -- give it a try -- I got mine for my Kobo, but they sell it in bookstores, too.
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby NLMD on Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:33 pm

Thank you everyone! I had an appt today with my Dr and he thinks Autism spectrum. We got a referral for an assessment at QA and a ped. Now the waiting game. I will look into a play therapist and check Chapters for that book this weekend. Sounds like it would be VERY useful for me :| Again thank you for all the suggestions :)
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby Lora-Lee on Wed Feb 29, 2012 9:20 pm

So sorry to hear about your everyday experience, really difficult. Another book I would highly recommend is by Dr. Ross Green "Explosive Child". It has become my bible since I have an explosive and resistant kiddo. This book is at the library. However, if your Dr suspect autism, it could be more helpful to read books specifically targeted for this condition. Take care and hold on!
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby NLMD on Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:17 pm

Thank you so much everyone for your support and suggestions. I will be picking up both of those books this week. Some days I feel like theres something there other days I feel like he is a regular 3 year old with some anxiety and a major attitude problem.
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby syke930 on Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:30 am

We are just starting down this road too... how did everything turn out for you? What was the QA process like? I'd love to pick your brain if you could message me...

thanks!
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby saucy on Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:08 pm

You should also check out "The Out of Sync Child" and "Raising Your Spirited Child". These books are about sensory processing and the different aspects of temperament respectively. I have a sensitive, "spirited" DS and although he has changed and matured over the years (he's nearly 6 now), his toddler years and when he was around 3 (when I could also see some anxieties emerging along with sensory issues) were very, very, very difficult at times.

Like another poster mentioned, "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk" is also really easy to read and helpful.
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby Osie on Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:19 pm

I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your courage for seeking help, support and answers for your son. Good job, mama!! :D
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby NLMD on Wed Sep 05, 2012 5:11 pm

Skye930- I can't private message you due to your privacy settings.
Feel free to msg me though.

At this point we haven't even seen QA. They say approximately 8 months to get in for the assessment so we are hoping around October/November. We did get in to see a Pediatrician and if you read through my previous posts it was a terrible experience. We go back to follow up in November with a new Pediatrician. All in all nothing has been done :-(
My lovely ( :mad: ) neighbor called social services on me last week saying I am physically and emotionally abusing DS. I have told her what I am experiencing with him but I guess she doesn't believe it or something. Multiple times a day DS will have a "fit" that involves a whole lot of yelling and screaming until he is able to calm down. Anything can set him off from the tongue of his shoe touching his leg to being told "no". Needless to say that was quite the experience having two social workers AND two great big cops show up at my door as I am standing their saying goodbye to a friend. UGH! HOWEVER the plus side to all that is the social worker witnessed DS sons behaviors and was able to give me some very useful resources. She has given me the name of a program called "The Early Intervention Program". I have to phone them tomorrow and speak to an intake worker. If you google Early Intervention Program some good information comes up. I am REALLY hoping they will be able to help me.
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Re: Where to begin?!

Postby happygirlmichelle on Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:23 pm

I am sorry that you are having problems with your son. I wanted to let you know that you can refer your son to QA, you do not need a doctor's referal. The program there is called the early intervention program.

I have a friend with a son that could have written your post exactly. Some things that helped her son was seeing a naturopath- Dr. Kevin Jackson. She eliminated gluten and other allergens from his diet and saw tremendous improvement in his behaviors. He still does have difficulty but it was greatly reduced with dietary changes.

She also had some success with giving her son 5HTP.
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