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Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little gir

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Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little gir

Postby Nola on Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:57 pm

We have an independant and strong willed little girl :lol: She alternates between being very good, listening to what we ask of her, and being difficult :?

I've seen some parenting books around and kids get all kinds of descriptions...I'm not sure what catergory she falls into. Closest I can see is that she is strong willed which could serve her well in her later years but right now it is darn right frustrating some days. We would like harmony in our house, and not always arguing with her, not always repeating ourselves to be heard.

Can anybody recommend a good book that will help. I think something designed for girls would be best. She is almost 6 if it makes any difference. Thanks :D
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Re: Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little

Postby Blacken on Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:46 pm

“You’re Not the Boss of Me! Understanding the Six/Seven-Year-Old Transformation”, edited by Ruth Ker

I'm planning on getting this one soon based on a few recommendations :)

Also check out this link if you like - I know it's not for everyone, but we are finding it useful for one of the children we have over on a regular basis (a fiery wonderful girl!)

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/ ... #more-3779
"Those who hear not the music, think the dancers mad." ~unknown
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Re: Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little

Postby Lisa on Sat Aug 18, 2012 3:29 pm

I have a very strong willed dd she is now 12 phew..lol I pick my battles and I do not engage in badgering/arguing I say what i mean and mean what I say.Strong willed children usually like control so I came up with an amazing system..I got two ice cream buckets got dd to decorate them with stickers etc one is labelled the naughty bucket and the other the reward bucket. You then sit down with your child and let them come up with rewards and consequences write them down on small pieces of paper and put them in the appropriate bucket. When dd would act up I always gave a warning advising her to stop or she would be picking something out of the bucket...I would get her to pick it and then put it on the fridge every time she asked for said item or thing that had been taken away I reminded her that she chose to behave that way. It worked well as she had the control ie making the punishments and picking them I made them things that would affect her ie no ds for the day no tv no outing etc. Rewards were great I would randomly catch her behaving and let her pick a reward. I hope this makes sence. Its much easier to explain in person.
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Re: Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little

Postby ada on Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:33 pm

Lisa, as a mother of a strong willed son I think I will try your approach.
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Re: Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little

Postby TazDevil on Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:04 pm

She's not strong willed, she is independently minded. :lol:

Love "Kids are Worth it" for a great collection of tips.

You know what the best tip I ever had was, and that was to figure out the kids motivation for their behavior.

Once I "got" that, then I didn't need to uses punishments or rewards to "make" them behave, instead I am able to sit down and say "why are they acting this way, what is their underlying need. Once I figurd out the need, I could talk with them about filling the need and the behavior would go away.

For example DS hates to have pressure to decide or act quickly. He finds it overwhelming so he will scream and yell if we say "make a decision do you want to stay or come, let's go". Once I got that his need was to have that pressure gone, I was able to use different tactics to get him motivated without verbal commands to act on demand.

With DD she gets cranky when her love tank gets empty. I know it is time to do a mommy and DD day or spend time with positive reinforcement.

Finding the "real, and even unconscious" motivation for kids behavior (or even spouses) can really help you solve any conflict and then putting that feeling or motivation into words helps them identify it.

My mom used to tell me people are rarely upset for the reason they think.
Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected.

Steve Jobs
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Re: Book recommendation for parenting a strong willed little

Postby Answers on Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:46 pm

"Raising your Spirited Child"

I can't remember the authour, but I found some helpful hints in there.

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