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Tips needed for giving "the talk"

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Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby JaynaF on Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:27 pm

So today dd insisted I tell her what my tampons were for. She is 9 and we were rushing out the door. I told her where they go but that is as far as I got lol!!! I want to sit her down and explain everything but don't know where to start. Any tips, suggestions for books or videos or anything??
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby Samandemma on Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:00 pm

"The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls" by Valerie Schaefer is very good. My dd has been reading intermittently on her own and sometimes we read/look at it together.
Meg Hickling's books are also great.
I think they are both available at the library and at local bookstores such as Bolen's and Munro's.
There was a thread on this forum dated July 26th entitled "She's Only 10!" and several excellent resources are cited in that thread.
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby JaynaF on Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:04 am

Ahh ok great I will check out that thread, and those books :) thanks!!
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby Benjorsam on Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:00 am





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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby Samandemma on Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:59 pm

I agree with what the pp's have said..... just have an honest talk about menstrual periods and why they happen and about the options re tampons, pads etc. Having said this, I also think that sometimes having an honest and relevant resource (like the body books) can be great so that a child can read and think about the information on their own time and ask questions as they feel comfortable. (I've found that my DD sometimes brings up topics while we're driving in the car.... maybe because it doesn't involve the direct eye contact... whatever you feel is best for your relationship and comfort of your DD will be just right).
OP: I'm sure all will go well. I don't know if you've already done this, but once you have a talk with your DD you may also consider letting her know that she can put a pad (discretely wrapped so not noticeable.... I do recall the embarrassment of "femine hygiene products" when I was a young teen) in her backpack for her to have in case she needs it.
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby JaynaF on Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:54 am

thanks guys :) i do believe she doesn't know about alot of that stuff yet, otherwise she would have mentioned it to me or asked me about it. I will be doing this soon :) thanks for the tips!
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby Chantalz on Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:12 am

Like my mom, I just kind of address it when it comes up. Don't make a big deal about it since it's not a big deal.

We're French though, so things like sex aren't taboo - they're not things we don't talk about or mention cause kids are around. I remember my extended family making sexual jokes with other adults when I was a kid, same with my ex-boyfriend's Italian family when I was a teen. They always made jokes or references to sexual things. Just part of everyday life in some cultures, so it's treated as such in discussions.

My dd, when 6, asked me what tampons were since she found some in my drawer. I told her they're for when I get my period. Then she asked what that was, and I told her that when girls are around 10-12, they start to produce eggs inside their bodies, which is one of the two things needed to make a baby. Told her that boys have the other part - sperm. Then I said that when you start producing eggs, every month (if it doesn't join with a sperm to make a baby) it needs to come out of the body so we bleed it out of our vagina. I told her we use tampons or pads so we don't stain our pants when we bleed every month.

She grossed out big time and did an 'ewwwwwwwww' dance in the kitchen at that point.

She was scared about the bleeding. Asked me tons of questions about that. I said it was VERY annoying (I'm so NOT into the magical "you're a woman now - let's celebrate" mystique of menses. It's 100% annoying in my books so I won't sell it any other way.).

I told her it's only for a few days every month, and you get used to it.

A year later she asked about the whole sex/sperm/egg thing (I was glad it took a year for her to figure out to ask about that!). :) Someone at school talked about sex, so she asked what it was. So I told her.

A guy puts his penis in a woman's vagina. She asked if it hurt. I said only the first time, or if the penis is really really big. I assured her most guys aren't really really big though - they're just normal size and that doesn't hurt. Then she asked why someone would do that. I told her that when you're much older it can be fun to do, but that kids never do it and it's best to wait until you're an adult and not a teen. "Just like drinking alcohol?" she then asked. I said yep and that was the end of it...until the masturbation talk a week later. <sigh>

I have very inquisitive daughters....which I'm happy about. :) I like to think that they're inquisitive cause they know I'll answer them, and that by doing so they'll always come to me when they have questions or when they're in trouble....cause I won't judge, I won't say no, and I'll just help them out.

Ignorance causes more problems than knowledge. A teen I knew when young swore until she was 16 that she couldn't get pregnant if she did it on top! :( 2 abortions later by the age of 17, she finally found out she was wrong. I'd just ask my parents, and they'd tell me the truth.

I hope I can gain my kids' trust and friendship enough to be there for them when they're teenagers.
Last edited by Chantalz on Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby Chantalz on Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:14 am

PS one of my daughter's friends just got her period at age 9. I got it at 10.

Definitely a good age to talk...before she gets a surprise that scares her. :)
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Re: Tips needed for giving "the talk"

Postby Benjorsam on Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:06 pm





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