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transitions

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transitions

Postby 12345678 on Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:00 pm

Hi there,

My daughter is 2.5 years old. Over a year ago her dad and i separated and she has been with me half the week and with he and his parents the other half (he lives with his parents). We all get along well and my daughter seems very happy. However, what's been going on for a while now is very hard transitions for her. When her dad picks her up at my place, for a few weeks she would cry so hard we could barely get her in her carseat..."mommy mommy", she did not want to leave me. Now she is ok with leaving, but when I go to pick her up from dad's parent's place, she grunts and runs away from me and into nanna's arms. She seems angry with me and it takes her a long time to cuddle up to me.

I have been reading about attachement theory and i'm really scared that my daughter feels anxious, because of the separation from me. Her daddy wanted half time and of course I want what's best for my baby. I have formed a wonderful bond with my daughter since birth and we are very close. I'm just concerned with what's happening when I pick her up, and sometimes the distress she feels when her dad picks her up.

Any comments? Has anyone experienced this with their kids?

thanks.
12345678
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Re: transitions

Postby Sunnygirl on Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:38 pm

Kids definitely want to cling to what they're most comfortable with at that "point in time". Maybe the separation on each side is too long - for example, for a few weeks maybe you could try alternating every 2 days instead of only twice a week??
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Re: transitions

Postby 12345678 on Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:39 pm

Hi,

WE have visits in between for 2 hours each. So between the 3.5 days, I have a 2 hour visit with her. So she only has to go 2 full days without seeing me. But maybe the visits aren't enough:(
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Re: transitions

Postby kapoohhh on Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:42 pm

I changed it around sometimes when my kids were younger...
We would sometimes do the reverse I would drop to him and he would bring back... so it is quicker and the child is already dressed. Good byes are quicker.
I found that worked alot better for my child that was 1 and my other was 3 1/2 at the time.Quick drop off.
Ask the Grandparents to drop to you as well... everything is already packed and just meet them at the vehicle at your house and a quick goodbye.
Hope things get better for you.
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