KIV Community

ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Friendly discussion on all issues related to parenting. Stories, experiences, alternatives, tips and support. This is a place to share ideas with other parents on the tough job of raising kids.

Moderators: Keeper, Sue, Glowingtouch, kattnipp

 

ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby Shopgirl on Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:40 am

Every other day I have to fight with my preteen to get her to shower! I am SOOO tired of fighting with her and am at my wits end! I don't understand what the issue is and quite frankly, since she refuses to use deodorant too, she could handle a shower every day.

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Any tips? I am kind of hoping that her peers will say something to her one day so that she will decide that showering is a good idea. :(
"Some women are dripping with diamonds. Some women are dripping with pearls. Lucky me, lucky me - look at what I'm dripping with - LITTLE GIRLS!" :)
User avatar
Shopgirl
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 3390
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:20 pm

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby CR&D'S Mum on Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:18 am

I went through this too. I had to be blunt - you smell and your hair is greasy you will take a shower - no TV, computer, etc until you are clean. Deodorant was a big issue too. She refused to wear it I kept telling her to. Finally the school emailed a nice diplomatic email as the classroom was killer after gym :lol: I said to her - the school says you smell and need to wear deodorant and since then she has. Now she refuses to wear a bra - I bought her undershirts and said fine you MUST wear those and she does. I know she is uncomfortable with the womanly changes to her body and feels uncomfortable talking about it. She is more sporty and rough and tumble and prefers to pretend it isn't happening. good luck. Soon she will be a teen and they have the opposite problem :roll:
User avatar
CR&D'S Mum
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 1055
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:04 pm
Location: Metchosin
Region:

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby Benjorsam on Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:03 am

I have the opposite problem in that my dd is obsessed with showering. If she doen't shower every day and put on deoderant several times a day, including before she goes to bed, she has a meltdown. When she goes camping she finds i very, very difficult to manage. But I was just mentioning to dh the other day that I'd rather it be this way, than the opposite and have her not want to shower at all. I don't think preteens/teens realize that they have all these hormones running through them and they cause them to smell more than they ever did. A younger child can go a few days, maybe a week without showering and be fine, but older kids cannot. You may be able to persuade her that she needs to shower, but it may also need to come from someone at school who tells her she stinks. My ds who is 11 complains when he has to shower and if he says he doesn't want to I tell him he can either do it himself or I'll come in and help him. That usually does it for him. :-D




Benjorsam
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 7107
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2006 10:03 am
Location: Sooke
Region:

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby Shopgirl on Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:26 am

Thanks so much for your replies!!

CR&D's mum - My daughter is exactly the same way! I *know* there will be a battle when she needs a bra (I'm thinking by next school year). I have been considering making her do her own laundry and being responsible for taking the garbage out as long as she 'likes stinky stuff', but I wonder if that is a little too mean! LOL! I will be so thankful when this phase passes.

Benjorsam - My middle daughter is very much like that, although not to the same extreme.
"Some women are dripping with diamonds. Some women are dripping with pearls. Lucky me, lucky me - look at what I'm dripping with - LITTLE GIRLS!" :)
User avatar
Shopgirl
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 3390
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:20 pm

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby murf1511 on Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:54 pm

Both of my kids sigh and gripe about it but they do it. My dd #2 would go without (she thinks deodorant fixes everything I think!) and she is in the barn all week with horses! This morning I was like "take off that sweater you wore it to the barn and I can smell you" and she was all "I like smelling like horses!"
Oi! Crazy girl.
She doesn't like to discuss womanly things or smells or anything but I finally got her comfortable with wearing a bra when I took her and her sister (23) shopping :wink:
Then it was girl time and girl chat and she was happy with that. Took a while to get her out of the sport bras (we save those for gym and riding) and she is fine with that part. I had trouble with her sister trying to get her into a sports bra even but I think by the time it came for an actual bra she was resigned and it wasn't a problem because she liked girly things more. She was more of a talker and listener as to what is happening to her body though than dd #2
User avatar
murf1511
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 4905
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:57 am
Location: Royal Oak
Region:

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby TazDevil on Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:35 pm

I make them once a week and it is a huge fight. They hate it and always have. Luckily they don't get dirty really so it isn't an issue. No issues with BO either yet.
Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected.

Steve Jobs
User avatar
TazDevil
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 4988
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:06 am

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby onceinvic on Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:31 am

I think they just forget, too. My oldest will not shower without a request to do so. It is terrible when i go away for work for a few days -- I return to a greasy teenager (his dad forgets to tell him to shower. Sigh). He is fine with showering, he just does not think to do it on his own.

My younger two LOVE showers and baths. i had to buy a loud kitchen timer for the bathroom. 8 minutes for a shower, period. Otherwise they would spend the day in there....
“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” ― Daniel J. Boorstin
onceinvic
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 1414
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:09 am

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby monikah on Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:39 am

Surely the kids at school will tease her about being smelly and she will start to shower more? Maybe just stop making her shower and see what happens? :D
Image
Image
User avatar
monikah
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 2091
Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:25 pm
Location: Gordon head
Region:

Re: ARG!!1 My preteen refuses to shower!

Postby scanto on Fri Jul 19, 2013 6:42 pm

Monikah, that's exactly what we did with our son. He's finally started daily showers on his own in the past couple of months but before that it was like pulling teeth to get him in there once a week. I think if we never told him it was time for a shower, he just would have never showered. We never made a big deal out of it. Voluntarily he's gone from that, to at least once a day now. No words spoken about the change.
scanto
KI(vic) Member
KI(vic) Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:40 pm


 

Return to Parenting

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Current Issues

March 2019

Read Now >>

Island Parent Tweens & Teens 2019

Read Now >>

Family Resource Guide 2018

Read Now >>

Upcoming Events


Mar
26
Kindergym Drop-In
Gordon Head Recreation Centre
Mar
26
DivorceCare
Central Baptist Church
Mar
26
Bug Buddies
Mill Hill Regional Park
Mar
26
Bird Bonanza
Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary
March 2019
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
  1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31  
<< prev. month next month >>
Newsletter Signup

Join our Newsletter

Sign up now to start receiving the Island Parent Newsletter. It only takes a minute.

Sign up now...

Contest

Excellent Prizes!

Enter now for your chance to win some exciting prizes in our Island Parent Contest! We have new contests often, so check back regularly!