by Brenda N on Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:38 pm
Our rules:
When they move on to the high school (grade 8 for us) they get a phone because they have such different schedules and often have to wait or get home on their own or get picked up at different times. Its a matter of convenience for me - and to a lesser degree a matter of safety. I pay the bill - its $25 per month per child. It gives them some freedom - they can text as much as they like to their friends but the only voice calls they are allowed are to parents, home, or emergency. They get NO data until they can pay for it themselves. I don't pay for the phone itself - just take whatever is free with the plan.
They take care of their phones for a couple of reasons - first because they are good, responsible kids who appreciate what they are given - and second because its on a plan and if they break it they'll get the leftover old, cheap, crummy phone that would be hard to text and impossible to do anything else with. I will NOT pay for a replacement or repair for any reason - even accident. So they know if they break it they need to pay or suffer. They are CAREFUL. They also have to pay for their own phone cases..... because I think it is really valuable for them to have some ownership in the whole thing.
I don't know the security codes to unlock their phones - I believe they should have some privacy. And I know from watching other kids (good kids too!) that if they have no privacy then they find ways of getting it. Often the technology is way ahead of the parents and I recommend to everyone to educate themselves and their children.
Too many children who are too young have unlimited access to the internet (WiFi) and no idea of how to filter what they read (too many adults too!) or what they see or do.... Remember when we used to say we'd make sure the computer was kept somewhere the whole family could use it - and never let them have a computer in their bedrooms? Now they carry their laptops to their friends' places and they have mini computers (phones and ipods) in their pockets that they take to bathrooms, bedrooms, and out behind the buildings. And too often we don't realize what they can get up to, until we are blindsided with it. I think education for all of us is the key - not so much just restriction.
As for Facebook - legally you have to be 13. If you are going to break that law then I think you need to think long and hard about how you justify that and be prepared for those words to come back at your from your teen when they break their first law.... Having said that - I let my oldest have a Facebook account when he was 12.5. For lots of reasons - and after much discussion - and I certainly had the password and checked it from time to time. Ditto that I was on Twitter (anonymously) when many of their friends were, and ditto with email - when they are younger they have their own email but I have the password. When they are older I don't need the password any more. I don't get copies of their emails because I find that too much watching - I think they need some trust and some privacy but I still pay close attention to what is going on in their lives.