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irrational meltdowns!

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irrational meltdowns!

Postby Jack's Mama on Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:16 pm

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Postby Cascadia Counselling Clinic on Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:44 pm

edited out for personal reasons, thanks.
Last edited by Cascadia Counselling Clinic on Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby WCM on Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:04 pm

For a minute there, I was myself.
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Postby Shereen on Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:30 pm

Sometimes in that situation, because I know that my daughter does well when give her choices (she likes to have some control), instead of just saying, "no! you can't have 3", I would say, "Make a choice. One or none." And if she says she still wants 3, I will say, "Okay, you have chosen none."
It works over half of the time.
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Postby Crystal on Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:49 pm

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Postby Jack's Mama on Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:26 pm

thanks mama's!
We didn't have one today...thankfully!
Two sure is a trying age...but then there are those special two year-old moments that make it all ok, you know? Like today, when Jack said toes for the first time. I know, a totally easy word, he just has never said it before and the way he pronounces it is more like "Ta-oes" and it's too cute! :wink:
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Postby cat1 on Tue Jan 18, 2005 6:13 am

I always tried to give my guys two things to choose from. that worked sometimes. Example. Do you want to wear this coat or that coat. What foot do you want to put your sock on first. This gives them a bit more control over their lives. However my kids still had trantrums no matter what I did - with my oldest I could not seem to calm him down at all so just let him be while he lay on the floor kicking. With my second I would calmyly ask what he wanted could he show me. Sometimes that helped him.
They do grew out of it. My oldest never does this anymore
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Postby Brenda N on Tue Jan 18, 2005 2:10 pm

Oh boy have I been through this one and I feel for you!! You are doing just the right thing. At his age they just get this idea in their heads of how things are going to go down....he sees you making the toast and he things "yummm, mummy will put all that toast on my plate and I'll eat till my belly's full" and then suddenly it doesn't go like he was expecting and he screams "NOOOOOOO!!!!" because that's just NOT the way he thought it was going to happen. Its irrational to us but if you can climb into their heads it makes a bit of sense.

I can't agree more with the sympathize but don't give in route. I never had any success with the "one or none" route at this age because they all chose option c and then I'd be forced to say "none" and they'd be a screaming mess for me because now they also weren't getting even a fraction of what they wanted.

One thing that works so so well for me is to paste on my Mary Poppins brain and try to turn around what they are asking for. First I clarify what they are asking for....lots of "ok honey, what's wrong - you wanted all the toast? Did you want more than one piece? Are you really really hungry today?" and then I mollify "oh, I see, you wanted all the toast - today I can't make any more but tomorrow I can make you two pieces or even three if that's what you want - would you like me to do that tomorrow? or "oh, you wanted all the toast....(change the subject/deflect)....are you really hungry today honey? Usually you only want one piece - are you really hungry? Well I don't have any more toast but I can cut you up some banana or apple too if you want" and then distract "hey, was that a dragon that just flew by the window? or was it Mary Poppins?....No seriously though, distract and deflect..."ooooh look, the kitty is hungry this morning too - should I give her some more cat food?" This just worked So well for me but it certainly took effort.
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Postby jj on Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:42 am

I agree with the above and would like to add.... I'm going through it too! I read this post and thought - he must be two!

One thing that I found helps is to get our son to the table as fast as we can in the morning. The tantrums seem to be related to low blood sugar and if we wait a moment too long, then he starts being irrational. Or I'd just give him a sippy cup of milk while I changed his diaper in the morning, to keep him calm.
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