Fed is best. Plain and simple.
New parents are feeling the pressure to feed their newborns “the right way.” Pressure from social media, pressure from friends, pressure from family, pressure from health providers and most devastatingly… pressure they put on themselves.
I struggled breastfeeding my children, who are now in their teens. I had a head full of professional information, as I was working as a public health nurse in a rural community, and promoting breastfeeding was a big part of my mandate. Even so, I found a disconnect between my knowledge and practical experience. I had several challenges with my first: engorgement, nipple damage, mastitis and sore nipples when I became pregnant again.
Despite these many challenges, he fed like a champ and for the record, he seems to be okay today. Though he was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy, it faded with time, and soon enough he could happily eat ice cream.
My daughter was a different story. Breastfeeding was certainly easier the second time around, but wow, was she ever a challenge to wean!
Yes, I found breastfeeding challenging and stressful at times, but it was something I wanted to do. There were two things that were instrumental for me to get through my challenges with breastfeeding: I was confident that I could do it and I was supported by my husband and extended family.
Let’s tie this article back to the theme explore. I took myself to an uncomfortable place, professionally and personally. I explored motherhood in a way that would have been familiar to my grandmother’s grandmother, all the while with an eye on the latest research. Here are the tips I would like to pass along from that exploration, from both those points of view:
First, ask yourself: What does infant feeding look like for your family? There is such a flexible continuum from exclusively breastfed to exclusively bottle-fed infant formula. Plans change, goals change. Who is there to support you in your decisions and goals?
Second, trust yourself. You know your baby better than anyone. Lean on your family and friends for support. Some jobs can only be done by mom, most others are up for sharing. If you are up multiple times at night breastfeeding, pumping and/or preparing infant formula… let them help during the day. Seriously, someone else can do dishes, meal prep, grocery shopping, pharmacy runs. Can someone oversee feeding you? You need fluids and calories as you give fluids and calories to your little one. If using alternative feeding methods (spoon, cup, syringe, bottle) and providing expressed breast milk (EBM) or infant formula, who will prepare and clean supplies? You also need rest. I’ll say it again, you need rest. No, really, you need time to rest.
Third, ask for help. There is a broad community willing and waiting to help you if you would like support with new skills like latching, positioning, breast compressions, hand expression or paced bottle feeding, reach out. These skills take time to learn; it’s work. Our grandparents who may have grown up with infant siblings, or older siblings with young children, learned by watching and helping. Many of us born later haven’t been so fortunate, but we can learn by asking and listening (or reading). Here are some community supports you can call: your healthcare provider (maternity physician, midwife, family physician), your local public health unit, La Leche League and/or lactation consultants. Public health nurses may offer infant feeding support at the health unit, at home or at Infant Feeding Clinics. La Leche League may have online or in-person group meetings and have some great online resources. Lactation Consultants can be found through BC Lactation Consultant Association and may be covered by some extended health benefit plans. Also, if you are pregnant, consider learning about infant feeding options before you have your baby.
It is important to feed your baby, of course it is. It is also very important to ensure that parent(s)’ needs are being met. Everyone in the family needs NESTs: nutrition, exercise (or at least some fresh air!), sleep (even if it’s broken sleep) and time to themselves (to feel like yourself again). This ensures the physical and mental health of everyone in the family.
Best of luck as you explore your infant feeding goals!
