Quit Riffin’ on Your Kid

Parents have the mistaken goal of trying to teach their children the shortcuts to becoming a high functioning adult. We have learned so much in our lives, how to get organized, to be accountable, to look after ourselves. If our child would just listen to our words of wisdom! Add this parental behaviour to the rest of the reasons kids don’t listen: nagging, pontificating, preaching, lecturing and giving instructions that they can’t follow through with!

Many people look back at their childhood wishing they had applied themselves more. Some blame their parents for not pushing enough, and while sometimes that could be true, it is more likely that those same people were just enjoying childhood.

Believe it or not, the things that occupied your attention and time when you were a kid mattered. You have to be a kid before you can be an adult. You don’t get the kid part back. Kids can’t sort, categorize and organize like an adult until they are an adult. Their brains aren’t wired for that. They are wired to play, and they shouldn’t be good at following through with instructions. That would be weird.

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Relax a little and let your child teach you how to play—you might have more fun too. You know, your child is really good at being in the moment, that thing that you are trying to learn to do with your meditation app. The great thing is that if you enter your child’s world and accept their immaturity, they grow up to be healthy, happy adults. That’s right, just love the little darlings where they are at and they’ll turn out just fine. Stop riffin; you’re annoying when you do that.

Accept this:

Kids aren’t great at following instructions.

They don’t focus on things that adults think are important.

They are messy and do a lousy job of cleaning up.

They don’t get the concept of being late until it matters to them.

They have a lot of mistaken ideas about the world that time will teach.

Kids live in the moment.

They make sense of the world through play.

They aren’t supposed to meet your needs that is your job.

They always need acceptance, affection and appreciation no matter what.

So relax and value your children’s immaturity. Climb into the moment frequently with them that is quality time.

Dr. Allison Rees
Dr. Allison Reeshttp://www.lifeseminars.com
Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, counsellor and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living in Families Effectively). lifeseminars.com.