I have the great pleasure of working in an elementary school. I always say that children make the best colleagues because they give you hope for the future, unlike many adults. Kids are inherently good—they still believe that clean air and water trump money.
They believe in equal rights and have zero qualms accepting that their buddy has decided to change names or pronouns. They accept differences in a way that would put many of us to shame. Kids also seem to have an innate sense of activism because they speak up for what they believe in, from saving old-growth forests to picking up litter. Instinctively, they care.
The contrast between what I see in my school and the recent election results across the world is making me wonder how and why we seem to lose our altruism as we age. What happens between childhood and adulthood for people to lose their belief in the good of the world?
I think I know the answer. Just like fear, kids learn values from us. Babies and toddlers don’t actually know intrinsically what to fear in the world. They look to their adults to gauge their reactions before they have their own. This is probably why my three kids have a massive fear of all things small after seeing me screech hysterically every time I see a spider. Similarly, I suspect that children learn from us what to think about what’s important. They see us throw plastic into the garbage can, muttering that recycling is a waste of time. In every way, they are learning from us and losing their innocent belief in the good of the world.
This phenomenon cannot be entirely blamed on the margins of society or on the people who deliberately spread hate and division. We are all guilty of contributing to our children’s loss of idealism. I am not innocent in this. Students in my school run a kindness club, which I support wholeheartedly. Being kind is important to me too, except when someone drives 30 kilometres an hour in a 50 zone. That’s when my ability to be tolerant and my belief in kindness lose to my need to get somewhere. My kids worry about climate change, and so do I, but I breathe deeply and grit my teeth when I leave a store with a gazillion items falling out of my hands because of anti-plastic bag regulations. The reality is that I have, like many of us, lost my ability to value goodness, kindness and fairness above all else.
Recent events have made me reflect on the difference between how youth see our world and how we collectively do. Similarly, I bet they would attribute far more value to the environment, inclusion, Indigenous rights and kindness than to money in their bank accounts. Perhaps we should take heed and reevaluate what we are inadvertently and unconsciously teaching our children every time we fail to espouse the goodness in the world.
Just like fear, kids need to learn joy and wonder from us, which can only be attained if we focus on what is truly important and start speaking up again for what matters. Humanity and caring come naturally to children, and as the recent elections to the south urgently indicated, it is time for us to (re)learn this from them. If the students in my school or my own children could keep their idealism rather than lose it, like many do as they grow up, I, for one, would be excited to see what our world might look like in a few years.
