My daughter started Kindergarten this year. Now, a few months in, I have accepted that she is no longer a little kid. Not a really little kid at least. She’s way past diapers, past the terrible twos. Teething is a distant memory. Naps vanished long ago. All those baby accessories—the BabyBjorn, the Diaper Genie, the Exersaucer have long since been cleared out and donated. But as I embrace my not-so-little kid, I think of all the lessons her babyhood and toddlerhood have taught me—not about parenting, but about how I navigate my own life as an adult.
Here are a few lessons my daughter’s early years taught me:
Lessons I’ve Learnt #1) Sleep is everything.
This was one of the biggest lessons I learnt from the newborn stage, when the midwife came over one day and asked me if I knew how to nap. I did not. I do now. A well rested child is a happy child. A late bedtime for a toddler can wreak havoc for days to come. And adults? Just the same. It’s so much easier to fall apart on a bad night’s sleep. So much easier to snap at your partner when you’re tired. So much easier for a little thing to push you to tears. Sleep will save you and not enough of it will pull you under.
Lessons I’ve Learnt #2) Do not back down.
I can’t tell you how many times my daughter threw a fit because she didn’t want to have a bath, or go to bed, or leave the playground or try going to the bathroom before bed and I’d think to myself—wow this is both very annoying and very impressive. I wish I had this kind of resolve when I present an idea in a meeting rather than saying “just a thought…” or when no one offers to make Turkey dinner for Thanksgiving and suddenly I’m hosting. Little kids will stand their ground, tear-streaked face, thrashing legs, violent arms and all. And adults? We need to do the same (only without the screaming fits).
Lessons I’ve Learnt #3) Pull out the fancy.
I was surprised how young my daughter was when she gravitated towards anything shiny. Sparkly shirts, tutus, blow up floaties filled with glitter, glitter itself. How she loved dressing up and how she’d stop and gasp on the rare occasions I wore a dress. Mommy you look beautiful! Sparkles may not be everyone’s idea of fancy, but appreciating the beauty around us and seeking it out never gets old.
4) Make it fun.
Washing your hair is boring. Unless you sing a song while lathering cherry flavoured Little Mermaid shampoo. Why use mint toothpaste when it can be bubble gum flavoured and covered in Minions? Why just have a bagel when you can cut it in half, add grape eyes and make it into a smiley face? Too much of adulthood is drudgery. Bring on the silliness!
5) Say it how it is.
My niece once said I like Nanna better than Grandma. To Grandma. This isn’t the best example of honesty but between my daughter’s why do you have lines on your forehead? to her why do you put pokey things in your eyes? her opinions were always clear. No bending herself backwards to placate others, no walking on eggshells around the grumpy guy at work, no offering to do things she doesn’t want to do. Little kids are brutally honest. As we grow up, we learn what’s expected of us, sometimes at the expense of our true selves.
There was a point during Covid when my daughter started saying just a minute every time I asked her to do something and insisted on sending imaginary emails before we left the house. I was both amused and mortified at how she was imitating us. But it goes both ways—just as kids learn lessons from the adults around them, adults can absorb all the childhood wisdom we’ve forgotten over the years. We can be reminded of finding joy, living authentically and taking care of ourselves. When we see what works and doesn’t for kids, it helps us to reflect on our own lives.
Now grown-ups, it’s time to put yourself down for a nap, break out the finery and tell your boss how you really feel.
