Oh, the joys of parenting in the TikTok era!
“But Mom,” my almost 11-year-old daughter wails, eyes wide and pleading, “Everyone has it! I’ll be the only one without the holographic glitter lip gloss!”
And just like that, I’m transported back to my own pre-teen years, the memory of teenage angst still buzzing inside of me. I remember the agonizing pressure to fit in, the constant bombardment of “must-haves” from magazines and music videos. It was brutal back in the ’90s, and scarily, it seems much more intense now.
It might be expensive Sephora makeup they’ve seen on TikTok or a name-brand hoodie they claim is a “must-have.” But what happens when your tween or teen asks for something with a price tag that makes you flinch, or doesn’t align with your family’s values?
As a mom who’s navigated these stormy waters more times than I can count, I’m here to share some survival tips—because let’s face it, trends come and go, but sanity is forever.
Understand the Trend’s Appeal
Before you respond to your child’s request, take a moment to understand why they want the item.
Is it because a lot of their peers have it? Does it offer some sort of social status or is it perceived as a “cool” factor? Is it something they genuinely find interesting or useful?
Ask a few questions, like “What do you like about it?” or “Is there a reason this is so popular right now?”
Understanding why my kid wants something is half the battle for me. She’s not just being materialistic—she is trying to fit in, explore her identity and find her place in this crazy, trend-driven world. Once I see where she is coming from, it’s easier to respond with empathy.
Utilize the “Wait & See” Method
The classic waiting game still works—sometimes. When my daughter first begged for a certain brand of $50 water bottle (you know the one!), I didn’t say yes or no—I just said, “Let’s wait a week and see if you still want it.”
Spoiler alert: By the end of the week, she’d already moved on to something else. Trends have a way of losing their sparkle when you’re not caught up in the hype. So, if you’re not sure if a purchase is worth it, give it some time.
Offer Less Expensive Alternatives
If they are adamant that they want a certain item, try to redirect the conversation toward alternatives. For instance, if my child is pushing for this week’s trendy hoodie, I will suggest checking out similar styles at more affordable stores or online shops.
Once it was simply the logo my daughter liked on a hoodie, so I purchased her a sticker version of that logo she then put on her water bottle.
This compromise shows your child that you’re willing to listen to what they want and respect what they like without giving in to every expensive demand.
Focus on Non-Material Values
In a world that often equates possessions with self-worth, it’s crucial to emphasize non-material values. Remind your kids that their friendships, talents and kindness matter far more than owning the latest gadget or designer clothing item. And make sure they know that friendship should not be based on what they wear or own.
In my house, these reminders often receive an eye roll from my daughter, but I can tell the message is starting to sink in.
Involve Them in Budgeting
Teens often have no concept of money so consider involving your kids in the family budgeting process. Show them how much things cost and how you allocate funds for necessities, savings and extras. This transparency can help them understand why certain items might not fit into the family’s financial picture and empower them to make more informed decisions in the future.
Relate the cost of the item to money they have earned or received in the past. I often remind my daughter that the “fortune” she received from her grandparents in her last birthday card only equals half of the cost of the shoes she wants to buy.
Focus on fostering values that will last a lifetime, and trust that your child will eventually find their own unique path, glitter lip gloss or not. And hey, we all went through it, right?
Try to remember that and cut them some slack when possible.
